Love is different things to different people so there is no easy definition that I can give and there is no test you can take.
In addition there are different types of love. The love you feel towards a parent or child is likely to be different to that you feel for a boyfriend or partner.
It is something only you can decide. Check out this great article on BeingGirl - it might give you some help.
Question: There are two guys I fancy and I don't know what to do.
Anna's Answer:
You are in a dilemma! It's not really fair to either of the guys to go out with one if you have feelings for another. Why not give yourself a little thinking time so that you can decide which one you really like.
Once you have decided, my advice would be to ask an understanding friend to subtly find out how he feels really feels about you. If he likes you then great, you could suggest meeting up sometime and see how things go. However, be ready for him not to be interested. Don't take this to heart, you can still remain friends and maybe in the future he may decide that he wants a relationship with you. But remember to be careful that you don't hang round too long for him and miss out on your own fun!
Check out the Advice for Life section on beinggirl.co.uk. You'll find some great articles that could give you all the extra help you are looking for.
Question: I have been seeing my boyfriend for a while, but sometimes he ignores me and doesn't phone or he tells me he's not going to a party and then I find out he's has gone and not invited me to go with him. Does he really like me?
Anna's Answer:
A relationship is a two way street and there has to be equal input from both sides. However, everybody is different and no two relationships are the same. As a general rule it is the respect he shows for you and the way he treats you as well as the affection he shows you that counts and tells you his true feelings. If this is missing you may want to think seriously whether he really deserves you or not! Check out this article on beinggirl.co.uk which may help you get a better idea of whether he's right for you.
Question: I always feel like I'm being compared to my older sister. She was really successful at school and I feel under pressure to live up to her achievements. How do I deal with it?
Anna's Answer:
It's unfair of people to compare you to your sibling. Have you tried talking to them about how much they are hurting you? They probably have no idea they're upsetting you. It is important not to let this affect your self confidence. Remember, you're you! Focus on your own strengths and the things you can do really well
Good luck!
Question: Why do I sometimes get upset and angry very easily?
Anna's Answer:
It is perfectly normal to feel like this at times during puberty. You may have some worries about the way your body is changing. Also the hormones, which cause the physical changes in your body, also affect your moods. This is partly why you can sometimes get really upset about something that would not usually worry you.
Feeling angry is normal during puberty because of the hormonal changes. In fact, for the same reason, many women get edgy right before their periods.
'Mood swings' are also common throughout puberty. This is when you feel really happy one minute and then really angry or even sad the next minute. So if you're feeling angry you may want to count to 10 (it works!) and think about it before you shout at your family or friends.
It shouldn’t be painful to remove a tampon. Try relaxing; if you are tense it will make removal difficult. Normally if a tampon is fully saturated it should slide out quite easily as your muscles naturally loosen and let it go. If it doesn’t come out easily or is a little painful it probably means you don’t need to change it yet as it hasn’t absorbed all the fluid it can. If after 8 hours this is the case then you may want to try a lower absorbency tampon. On light flow days you may have to pull the withdrawal cord a little more.
The Tampax® Compak Effortless Tampon has a new softer layer that makes it easier to remove. Read more about it >
Question: Can I go to sleep wearing a tampon?
Anna's Answer:
Yes, you can sleep while using a tampon. However it is important to remember that a tampon needs to be changed every 8 hours. So if you sleep more than 8 hours either set an alarm to wake up and change your tampon or sleep using a sanitary pad. It is recommended that a pad be used for several hours each day, so the night time may be the best time to do this.
Question: Do thicker pads always offer better protection?
Anna's Answer:
There is a range of Always® Ultra Thin pads, which are made of a special, highly absorbent material. This means that the moisture is locked away and almost nothing can come back out, so you feel clean, dry and protected. Because they are really thin, they are both comfortable and discreet – and yet they offer excellent protection too!
Question: My tampon has leaked and stained my knickers, but my tampon still shows white fibre, why is this?
Anna's Answer:
First of all it is important to ensure that you are using the correct absorbency for your flow. I would always recommend that you use the minimum absorbency required. So try a lower absorbency. However a tampon should protect you for 4 hours so if you have to change sooner it is necessary to move to a higher absorbency. If too high an absorbency is used the tampon does not expand sufficiently. The higher absorbency tampons contain a great deal of fibre that is compressed very tightly to fit into the tube. In order for the tampon to expand to protect you, you need consistently heavy flow. If this is one of your lighter days there may not be enough flow for tampon to fully expand properly and your flow may travel down one side of the tampon and you may experience leakage.
If you try a lower absorbency the tampon will have a chance to expand and protect you better.
Also this problem may be caused by the tampon not being correctly inserted. Therefore the tampon will not be able to expand properly and therefore your menstrual flow will pass by instead of the tampon absorbing it. It is important that you carefully follow the advice given on how to insert a tampon on the in pack leaflet.
Question: I’ve moved to a new town. How do I make friends?
Anna's Answer:
When meeting new people it’s important to be yourself and don't leave them with a false impression of who you really are. Get to know people by asking about their lifestyles and hobbies etc. If they are interested in the same hobbies as you, say swimming, you could suggest that you meet up at your local Leisure Centre and go swimming together. There are many ways to meet new friends. You could join a local youth club, or join after school teams, such as drama or sports. Many people make good friends through the Internet whilst in chatrooms etc. Before joining chatrooms and exposing yourself I advise that you check out www.thinkuknow.co.uk, a website that advises on Internet safety.Have you checked out the Advice for Life articles on beinggirl.co.uk as there are some great articles that could give you all the extra help you are looking for.
Question: I’ve bust up with my friend, how do I make it better?
Anna's Answer:
There's only one way to solve this: talk to her. Whatever the argument was about, I'm sure if you apologise enough, tell her how much you miss her and that you regret what happened, she'll forgive you. If you're too nervous to pick up the phone, perhaps you could send her a little present or a special card and ask her if you can have a chat. Remember, if she is a good friend she will want to get your friendship back on track as much as you do.
Have you checked out our Advice for Life articles? There’s some great advice that could give you all the extra help you are looking for.
Question: My friend is thinking of running away. How can I stop her?
Anna's Answer:
My advice would be to take what she's saying seriously – she’s been brave to confide in you. Find out as much as possible about the situation she’s running from, and reassure her there are other solutions. And tell an adult you trust, even if she’s sworn you to secrecy – you might save her from risky choices and sleeping rough.
Question: I think my friend is harming herself. What should I do?
Anna's Answer:
Be patient and sympathetic, and let her vent her emotions – above all, try not to judge. Get advice from an understanding adult or from an organisation specialising in such cases.
Shaving does not affect the texture or colour of the hair. When the hairs are cut at the surface of the skin it leaves a blunt end rather than a tapered point which feels different when the hairs start growing back.
Question: Why do I need to use a conditioner on my hair?
Anna's Answer:
We damage our hair every day, through routine activities such as towel drying, vigorous brushing and incorrect combing and styling. This can leave hair looking and feeling dull and lifeless. Since hair is dead and cannot repair itself, it is important to help prevent damage. Using conditioners can provide this protection.
Question: Does chocolate give you spots?
Anna's Answer:
There is no scientific evidence that diet plays an essential part in causing spots. So avoiding chocolate will not prevent spots. But that doesn't mean you can eat as much as you want! A healthy, well-balanced diet is what your body needs.
Question: When is the best time to apply my antiperspirant?
Anna's Answer:
The best way to achieve maximum effectiveness is to use your antiperspirant as part of a daily routine, especially after a bath or shower, when your skin is still slightly damp after towel drying.
Question: I'm worried that my friend has an eating disorder. How can I help her?
Anna's Answer:
It sounds like you are a very understanding friend. Listen to her reasons, but urge her to seek professional help. She's likely to be low on self-esteem, so remind her why she's a special friend. Encourage her to confide in her parents or a sympathetic adult. For further help contact the Eating Disorders Association Youthline (0845 634 7650 - open 4-6.30pm weekdays).
Question: I had my first period a while ago and am due my next one soon is it to early to use tampons?
Anna's Answer:
There is no special age you have to be to start using tampons. You need to be able to read and understand how to properly use tampons and be responsible enough to follow the guidelines that you can find in each tampon box. Some girls start using tampons with their first menstrual periods because they are swimmers or other types of athletes. Some girls want to understand their cycle more and wait a few months before they begin. The choice is yours.
Question: Do you have any tips for me to stop me from getting such greasy hair?
Anna's Answer:
Everybody has different hair types and you need to choose the right product for your hair. Greasy hair happens when too much oil is produced. This often happens during puberty. Hair will look dull and limp and it is difficult to style because the oil makes it heavier. It also gets dirtier more quickly than normal hair because it attracts the dirt.
Beautiful and healthy hair is about choosing the right hair care products. All you need to make sure is that they are adapted to your hair type and nourish and protect your hair.
I suggest you try shampoos/conditioners designed for 'Greasy Hair'. Check out Pantene and HerbalEssences.
Question: I really like my boyfriend but he is toooooo pushy - what should I do?
Anna's Answer:
You were probably taught as a child to never go along with any kind of pressure. That you should say, "No" or walk away from situations that don't feel right to you - no matter how reassuring or pushy another person is. Well guess what? This is the golden rule in sex and relationships for the rest of your life. If you don't want to do something, if you feel pressured, if there's a strong voice inside you thinking "this doesn't feel right" or "No," then you should say "No" - loudly and clearly. That includes everything from not kissing a guy just because he wants to kiss you, to not giving in to sex just because you feel pressured.
Be true to who you are, make decisions that feel right for you, and act out of your own needs - not someone else's.
Question: Around the time of my period I get really bloated what should i do to stop this?
Anna's Answer:
Many women find themselves feeling a little bloated around the time of their periods and unfortunately there is not too much you can do about it. My advice would be a little gentle exercise; this will help you feel better!
Question: My Auntie has been diagnosed with Breast Cancer. I am worried I might get it too!
Anna's Answer:
Breast cancer is extremely rare in teens and lumps are often harmless. There's a great article in my archives called "Why do I need to be breast aware", which will help you understand what's normal for you and explain the importance of checking your breasts regularly. (Anna's archives)
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